And then I just blow it some kisses from a distance. I had bought us a holiday to Barbados and it was all-inclusive and I’d never been on that kind of holiday before, I’d never spent that kind of money before and I was thrilled to give it to him and then he gave me my present and I opened it and it was an electric toothbrush. , 7:30pm, The Capitol Horsham, North Street, Horsham, West Sussex, RH12 1RG, Her most personal show yet and perhaps her most accomplished. So what we’re doing at the moment – and I find this kind of embarrassing to talk about – me and my boyfriend are currently, or have been for a while, trying to make a baby, get pregnant. I don’t really understand it. About 14 years ago, 15, maybe, at Christmas time, I had too much to drink and I was very emotionally involved with an EastEnders storyline and I told my sister that I was her real mum. This felt part of something indicative of Sara Pascoe’s comedic angle as although her bits by her own admission focussed on what’s funny first, this didn’t stop her own values and foibles being skimmed over, making even the most spurious bits feel grounded and real. I was the girl you heard about in rumours.

“You should go on QI! “Yes, it’s very tiring being on QI, “but it’s so worth it and I just wouldn’t want you “to leave it too late and they’ll have stopped making it.”. Change ), You are commenting using your Twitter account. They’re always on their phone from below with eyes like they hate you and you’re only ever asking for one because you’re scared cos it’s half-two in the morning and you’re pissed and you’re thinking, “Oh, no, it’s really very dodgy round here. Looks like you're using new Reddit on an old browser. I’m going to tell you the worst thing first, the bad thing. I’m 35, which is the oldest I’ve ever been, and, look, I’m enjoying ageing. My ambition my entire life has just been to work really, really hard, make enough money to give a dog an incredible life and that would be a life well lived and now, essentially, I am waiting for him to die.

I got pregnant from borrowing a boy’s towel and now it’s so much more difficult and there’s all this stuff that you’re supposed to do if you’re trying to get pregnant. You know you’ve only got 60 seconds to get out of there. Oh, gosh, this is…” But it’s bittersweet, like… “I can get a dog now.” So what I’m trying to say is I do understand the life insurance thing, I get it, it’s just that money is his dogs. “Arnab?” And often, by then, it’s too late. And they hate it. So there’s just no way of knowing. Just be careful! Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts, https://drive.google.com/open?id=17erqtK_uyK_VAwyGApeHHYyn0_EHZTqi. You’ve just described it so perfectly.”, And then I realised I’ve been doing the same thing the opposite way round. The whole thing feels like a game of Would You Rather. That means I was alive when the Spice Girls came out and I was excited.

Stand-up comedy special by the multi award-winning comedian Sara Pascoe. “You know, Christmas presents…” “Ever heard of Christmas presents?” Well, we did it one year. Beautifully structured... knowing, yet effortless. Now, I keep it covered at all times and it’s not cos I’m ashamed of it, but because if anyone ever sees it, they go, “What’s your tramp stamp mean?” Cos apparently we’ve started calling them tramp stamps and I don’t know what kind of tramp that’s referring to, if it’s a loose woman or a vagrant man. I shouldn’t be scaremongering about Uber. It’s too hard. I’ve never been. It comes from a really good place. Exploring love, sex and doing both alone, Sara shares her wisdom and positivity, … Seven days, even if they are amazing days, seven days – done, gone forever. HD Stream Film "Sara Pascoe Live: LadsLadsLads (2019)" online tablet, IoS, Android, Mobile und Computer - Gnula! I have had my own wonderful personal subjective experiences, like I’ve been on QI. It ruins lives all over the world. Change ). Now, I was describing this the next day to my friend cos I thought I was going to get some material out of this. Most people agree Stalin, “Oh, very bad,” but if you were a gulag maker… ..you’d be into him. I was thinking, "hey, my sister might like this, I should send it to her.

Timings (where shown) are from the start of the programme in hours and minutes, Feel The Love Either way, it’s a compliment, but it’s a difficult question to answer so I just say that it means “fuck me harder” in Japanese. So, I earn more money than my boyfriend does, which is fine, and that means that I have to pay for everything that we do, which I don’t mind and he’s all right with it, but in the olden days, in the ’80s, there used to be this system where, like, a man would buy dinner and a woman would put out. They’re so young, it’s such a formative stage. He says that me talking about it on stage is not helping.

I want to be on the right team, I want to be one of the good guys, but the more I think about anything, the more complicated it becomes in terms of knowing whether you’re a good person or not and also the terms “bad” and “good”, they’re subjective. Si vienes a nosotros, entonces decidimos ver un par de películas interesantes. Expect some old favourites and a smattering of new ideas. I’m 35 years old.

When I was 15, I was pregnant all the time. 11. That was my sister and she’s lied about this kind of thing before. “Just please promise me you’ll never tell anyone about this.” But I am telling anyone and the reason is I thought about it and my initial response was wrong. We use cookies on this website to improve how it works and how it’s used. Sara Pascoe: LadsLadsLads (2019) – Full Transcript admin 2020-02-02T21:38:14+00:00 February 2nd, 2020 | Categories: COMEDY | Tags: Sara Pascoe , Stand-up transcripts | CHEERING AND APPLAUSE He doesn’t like dogs, I found out about eight months in. “I better wait.” And by then, he’s arrived and then to check that it’s him, because of the angle he’s taken the photo at, to check that it’s him, you have to bend down and look upwards. I’m not. I was researching on the internet about how our different cultures respect female genitals because I can, I’ve got nothing to do in the day, and I found out about a nightclub, there’s only one like this in the world, it’s in Japan, and it’s on two floors and women get in for free if they go into the top floor if they’re wearing a skirt with no underwear because the dance floor’s see-through.

You have to wee on it and also for ages, like, much longer than you think – like, 13 minutes. You’re not allowed to have coffee. Join the German Comedy Ambassador for an hour of Teutonic jolliness at its best. We don’t wait until we know everything about someone and then decide, “That’s it, you deserve my heart.” No, you learn a few things about someone and then you fall in love and then you continue to learn new things and some of those things are great. I’ve been ashamed my entire life of the quality and I realise it’s a form of empathy failure and I realise this because my friend, she’s so clever and she was talking about misogyny, misogynists, and she said something so succinct. The Capitol are delighted to present an incredible evening of musical showtunes and festive favourites with acclaimed West End actor and singer, Oliver Tompsett. Now, most of you will know what Uber is, but just in case you don’t, it’s a taxi but with judgment. I never told her to do that, but I also never told her not to so I started to feel really guilty and I wanted to apologise to Shelley, but we’re not really in touch any more because people don’t tend to invite their pimp to their wedding.

I really want to go to Japan and I’ll tell you why. I don’t know!

What this means is you have a higher than you should have level of testosterone in your system, which does mean that you have an increased sex drive, but it also means that no-one will have sex with you because of your fine beard and moustache. My younger sisters and my friends are having kids. It’s made of glass and men pay a huge amount of money to go to the floor underneath, where they buy overpriced drinks and sip them, looking upwards at women on the dance floor.

Now, I’m not saying that I agree with that. Oh, you get a review at the end. Nos complace presentarle a sus gustos y preferencias una gran colección de películas y la posibilidad de verlas en línea sin necesidad de registrarse. Of course it works both ways. Oh, the thing is with pornography, I think when you start going out with someone, this is how I’m going to solve it – when you start going out with someone, you should be able to scan your picture into their computer and then whenever they look at pornography, as is their right, all of the banner ads have got your face on them. (feat.

Thank you so much for having me. “I think it’s the nerves!”. Lots of these companies do now and so it’s that thing of the short term vs the long term. You know when you’ve fancied someone for weeks and months and you feel electric and alert and incredible around them and then you finally get to go to bed with them and it should be so great and it’s… Ow! Sara Pascoe: Lads Lads Lads at Norwich Theatre Royal, 16/09/2018. It’s supposed to think for two minutes and then come up with where you are in your ovulatory cycle so you don’t waste the one sex you have a month and all that happens when I’ve done it is it just comes up with a picture of a book, which means that I’ve done it wrong and I need to reread the instructions, and then I break it cos I’m angry and I’m sitting there holding broken bits of plastic, hands covered in my own piss, no trousers on, thinking, “Could I really keep another human alive?” And I have an espresso Martini to cheer myself up. The Free Online Stand Up / Theatre Comedy Guide – A selection of links to full shows that are free to view. Thank you so much! Ow! The idea that a woman is economically dependent on a man is disgusting. This is the thing, it’s true – me and my boyfriend, we have sex about once a month and I would like to have more of it and what I blame it on, I blame it on pornography. I feel more confident and I know myself better, but what’s been happening is I’ve started remembering things – memories from adolescence, things I’ve completely forgotten – they’re dropping back into my brain fully formed and I remember something about a year and a half ago. ( Log Out /  Stand-up comedy by Sara Pascoe. I don’t think that system is OK, but when I was 18, I felt very grown up and autonomous and I thought that I could make my own decisions and so could Shelley and now I’m 35, I feel incredibly protective over teenage girls. © 2020 Scraps from the Loft.

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